Listen up, Y'all! I am officially done with my weaning from Effexor. Last night I took my very last dose. I began this process approximately 84 days ago and I am DONE. I have one small baggy with a weeks worth of 10mgs left that I had alotted on a "Just in case" scenario and I am choosing to forego using these as I am only experiencing tolerable withdrawal symptoms. Tonight will be the true testiment to how my body reacts to a 100% discontinuation. Pray for me 'cause I am soooo very close to freedom. 

The above quote by Suzanne Collins resignated with me because I believe that if I had not chosen a strong approach of not allowing myself to waiver along the way, or if I had not been so hell-bent on moving forward and weaning quickly regardless of the withdrawal symptoms I would still be fighting off this unnecessary medication and it's grasp that it had on me. In choosing such an aggressive weaning scheduling I allowed myself a cushion of time on the off chance that I become too overcome by WD symptoms to continue decreasing every Monday night. And because God showed me so much mercy, I did in fact stick to the schedule and I am Freeeeeeeeeeeeee! Yay! 

I do have brain zaps, body stabbing pains (like a growing pain times 10), and I get dizzy spells. But I mean, who doesn't have the occasional ailment, right? RIGHT.

The second quote, by Karen Lamb goes out to everyone that is fighting a demon that seems to big to have victory over. If you never start then you'll never finish. The time will indeed pass, whether or not it passes as you fight for a better tomorrow. You CAN do this. You CAN accomplish your goal. You CAN have victory over it. Your process may not be exactly like mine, but that's the beauty in it. Create your own path, endure your own pains, and live your own experience so that we can one day meet each other at the finish line.

Like with any battle, there is an aftermath. My reality now is that it isn't quite by default that I react to situations as most would. Unlike these past two years on Effexor I can now legitimately hold a grudge, remain angry, stay sad, and can feel hurt; all of which seem to make me want to avoid the situation emotionally, kind of like a "shut down" because of how it affects me. Effexor seemed to allow me to spike emotionally and then by morning it was an absolute fresh start. It was easy to forgive, easy to move on, easy to brush things off regardless of how venemous the situation, I could endure it because the hurt never lasted long enough or hit deep enough to give me the kick in the butt that I needed to realize that the situation was probably not the best one to be in. I am now dealing with the demons that I suppressed, the break ups, the betrayals, and the complications that I numbly smiled through. So, onto the next journey... to be honest, I am a little more than slightly fearful that the hard part is left yet to come. 

Here we go....