Sleepy/delirious all day yesterday. Woke up late again today, and as I incoherently stumbled my way to the shower, I lost my stepping and had to grab on to the wall. Am I drunk? No My Ninjas, I'm discontinuing. 

Despite how horrible I was feeling yesterday, my cousin came to pick me up so that we could stop by our uncles house to take care of something. As I sat there, I could feel myself trapped inside my own mind; I sat quietly blinded to everyone by my symptoms. As I sat in my uncles kitchen, I scanned the room aimlessly as conversations bounced between them. It wasn't until about 20 minutes into the visit that I realized how anti-social I was being. I hadn't been able to transition socially like I usually did when I was feeling myself. Between the dizziness, the headache and brain fog, I was anything but "present." I literally had to walk myself step by step through having a conversation until my brain slowly warmed up and allowed me to not only pay attention to what was around me but create clear and concise thoughts. 
We take for granted the basic social skills & cognitive processes that we depend on daily. It sounds so small, so easily attainable the listening, speaking, back and forth banter... but it isn't. Not for someone suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Everything hurt, my brain was shock waving and with each smile that I forced myself through I worried that you could see the gloss of struggle in my eyes. In conversation my uncle offered up his support, and expressed how he wish he had known what I was going through. I left thinking about that statement and the reasons I had for not letting everyone in my family know exactly what was going on and it came down to one thing. 
I may not believe you to be the judgemental type, I may even think of you as someone who would indeed be supportive and stand by my side on hard days, but I was just not willing to find out the hard way that I was wrong.