Many of us whom suffer from anxiety or depression do so because of some sort of traumatic experience. The event could have been recent or may have taken place many years ago; anxiety & depression can manifest by a variety of triggers at any stage in our life. We all process trauma differently, and there is no right or wrong way! Though, there are negative and positive ways that can either hurt us later in life or reveal to us just how strong we really are. 

The traumatic experience that brought on anxiety in my early 20's took place when I was 14 years of age. I will not go into detail but, I will list some of the ways that I dealt with what happen. Maybe some of you can relate with your own situations. 
- I told no one for a few years (Because I felt shame)
- I became more introverted & began choosing more serious friendships (My need for building of trust with everyone I associated with)
- I relaxed my care with my physical appearance (I did not want to draw attention to my body or to myself in any sort of sexual way)
- I developed a more humorous personality (Great defense mechanism to depression or pain)
- I became more structured with my rights & wrongs, my yes's & my no's. I saw the world in a much more black and white world. (Boundary issues)
- I became quite more shy with new people and in trying new things, in new places & as the years went by I gravitated towards potential boyfriends that were smaller in size that I was, and more meek in personality (My seeking safety & power over the situation, you know... just in case.)

Again, we all deal with things differently. What I listed above was what I did and how, in Heinz-sight, I saw myself alter who I was to accommodate the parts of me that were broken. The blue typing is the better understanding that I obtained as the years went by. It's been many, there has been much time to reflect and sometimes wonder what could have been if things would have played out differently. As an adult, I've worked through most of these issues. The ones I work through still are my seeing the world through a black and white lens. When people say something about who they are, what their intentions are, how much they care, etc. I will hold them to it, in my mind any way. Because I seek the building of trust. All of us do, of course, though I see day in and day out people who do not trust each other but yet remain as friends, or lovers, or close family and well... I'm no longer wired to do so. It puts me in a place of confusion about who that person is in relation to who I am & it causes me to restructure their position in my minds eye, if at all there is one for them with the new found information. Thus, I don't associate with fair weather friends. But here is how I've balanced this very irritating quirk, I COMMUNICATE. Communication is very important to have with your close network of friends and family. Whether you are communicating positive information or negative information, it's imperative that you never leave those around you in the dark about your situation because it can lead to more distress, for you, for them, for everyone. What THEY do with your reaching out to communicate is their business. When you let people be around you long enough they'll show you who they really are, and if they show you no consideration then move on, but always first communicate.
The 2nd issue I am still working through is of course, the anxiety itself. For those of you just checking in, I was on Effexor, but have since weaned off. (For more information, click here.) Anxiety is a beast all it's own. It is not only physical, it is emotional and very much mental. Anxiety can be triggered by certain foods or beverages, memories, scents, ANYTHING... so I encourage you, as you wean, or as you simply want to find a more peaceful approach to dealing with anxiety; search for people, hobbies, pastimes, places that can offer you breathing room. I personally LOVE me some afternoon walks in some serene nearby trails and neighborhoods. It really does help me process & rid myself of thoughts not worth keeping. Try it, what's the worst that could happen, you get a little sunshine? :-)

Anxiety doesn't have to control you, and neither do your past experiences. Take note of how it is that you deal with things, the "why's" the "what's", the "who's" because it all comes down to one thing, you absolutely, without a doubt deserve better than what your demons want you to believe. Fight. You're worth it.